Are You Causing Your Own Suffering?
“We invariably find that we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.” – Alcoholics Anonymous page 62
One of the worst mistakes a person can make when they get sober is thinking that the alcohol or the drugs were the only problems. In 12-step programs, we learn that the disease of addiction is only a symptom of a much larger problem. In order to truly recover, it’s important to do some self-analysis and get down to the root of the problem. While there are many, one of the primary contributors is the way we cause our own problems, which can lead to resentments, sadness, and self-pity, and this can be a recipe for relapse.
The Whole World is Against Us
It’s extremely common for people to believe that the whole world is out to get them. We attribute our misfortunes to bad luck or people causing all of our problems. While many of us have been through various traumas as children or in our relationships and in active addiction, there comes a point where we have to take a step back and see what’s really going on. There are many situations that are completely out of our control such as being abused as a child. But we learn the Serenity Prayer in 12-step programs that help us constantly remember what’s within our control.
Even when we get sober, we can stay in a self-centered addictive mindset where we lack self-awareness and personal accountability. We lack the ability to see which problems are of our own making. We fail to realize that our attitude towards others and a lack of emotional regulation can cause a lot of our ongoing issues. For example, we may get resentful of family and friends for not trusting us, but we’re still lying, cheating, and stealing in recovery. We may wonder why nobody wants to hang out with us, but we don’t see how we’re constantly arguing and fighting with people. Is it possible that we’re causing some of our own problems?
You’re in Control
The biggest issue with not seeing how you cause some of your own chaos is that it can feel like you have no control. Studies have proven that people who take responsibility for their actions and believe that they play a part in outcomes are much happier. Why does this happen? When we don’t feel in control, we wander through life feeling like we can’t change anything about our situation, but this isn’t the case.
Above all, this is the primary reason why long-term recovery depends on continuous work on ourselves. By doing the work in 12-step programs or other programs like Refuge Recovery, we continue to see what we can and can’t control. Therapy and aftercare can also be great ways to continue reflecting upon one’s own situations and finding ways to grow. Aside from the support and various perspectives you gain, you start receiving more tools that allow you to manage your emotions and actions to begin living a much more successful life.
In our active addiction, life is chaotic. We bounce from one disaster or terrible situation to the next. When the 2nd step of 12-step programs discuss having sanity restored, it sounds pretty great, and it is. The promises of Alcoholics Anonymous also provide feelings of freedom and happiness, as well as acceptance of self and others. The millions of people experiencing true serenity as a result of 12-step programs are living proof that you can stop causing your own problems and live the life that you deserve.
Not only does Enlightened Solutions provide detox services, but we host 12-step and non-step meetings, and we also have a variety of events for you to get involved in. Give us a call today at 833-233-7336 for more information.